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ilovekimchee
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| 11/17/2011 7:53 PM |
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I'm 22 and have been at my first job for about a year now.
I like to think of my dress style as fashionably modest, but I'm after reading the male factor, I'm not so sure.
In general, I follow the basic checks - no cleavage showing, skirt below my fingertips - cover my legs with a jacket when sitting if skirt goes above my knees, wear leggings if a dress is too short, etc. I LOVE fashion, have since I was a kid. I like to wear colourful clothes and belts and scarfs and shoes, and have been blessed with a wide array of them,and I always intentionally TRY to be modest, especially at the office. However, after reading the book, I'm not sure what counts as modest anymore!
I also wonder that the times before this when I have dressed inappropriately will stick in my colleague's minds and they'll never take me seriously. (praying for forgiveness and redemption for that!)
Where's the balance? Men won't take me seriously if I don't take care of myself, but if I make too much effort in my appearance they won't respect me or hear me? I'll never meet a husband if I'm not taking care of my appearance, but if my figure shows then my skillset won't be the first thing people notice? Is wearing too much color distracting from my business message?
As an example, let's take Michelle Obama, I find her a great example of being fashionably modest but from some of the things I read in the book and the survey responses, maybe not so much..what goes? (EX http://mrs-o.com/newdata/2011/9/26/a-champion-for-girls-in-science.html )
Another thing is the hair twirling. I do it all the time when I'm thinking or because I'm nervous, but men take it as flirting?
I have purposely and prayerfully worked to live modestly and to be a light for God in the workplace, but the material in this chapter grieves me.
Anyone have additional ground rules I've been overlooking?
Thanks for reading!
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clare
Posts:932
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| 11/20/2011 12:54 AM |
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Hair twirling isn't flirting unless you're talking to the guy, flirting with him, and flipping your hair for attention.
People say I am too plain and modest, coming from an extremely conservative background it has been ingrained in me. I found that was actually the most attractive thing about me to guys, well aside from personality. And I dressed in long skirts, and very modest shirts, nothing stylish at all. Looking back it was a little embarrassing! But no harm was done by it  I personally feel skirts should come to at least the knee, its too easy to get blown by the wind! It sounds like you are very careful tho and accidents happen but a few mistakes won't be the only thing people will rememer about you. For myself, I don't wear shirts that when I bend over show a full array of my person, if the shirt is a little low I always wear an undershirt and make a point to put my hand on my neckline if I bend over. |
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Trevor
Posts:8
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| 01/10/2012 2:10 PM |
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Regarding the hair twirling. Twirling your hair and looking off into space isn't flirty. A guy might be intrigued by it but its not being flirty. If you are twirling your hair while thinking and looking at a guy, that could be perceived as you sending him some kind of a sign. I wouldn't do that. Shouldn't be anything wrong with just doing it while you are thinking if you aren't staring at a guy.
Regarding the dress...some of this falls on us guys. I don't have a problem with the outfit Michelle was wearing in the picture. it was a little tight but nothing that bad. I think you are probably doing fine. The fact that you are being conscious of how you are dressing tells me that you are probably doing a pretty good job. Honestly, if you are pretty and skinny you are probably going to stick in your colleagues mind no matter how modestly you dress. You can't help that. I would say you are doing a nice job already though...don't fret too much! |
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